Really, really, REALLY scared for my surgery today. I will be under general anesthesia and I don't know why, but it just terrifies me to think they may have to intubate me and I will wake up with a tube down my throat. I know it is stupid, but there it is. I have to be at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. for prep for a 7:30 a.m. surgery. I can't sleep. I will be lucky to get four hours of sleep tonight. There are times I love living alone and times I hate it and this is one of the times that I hate it because I don't have anyone to talk to. It is too late to call my sister or one of my friends, so all I can do is just think about all the things that could go wrong. I can't even stress eat because I am now only on clear liquids. Just twelve hours and this should all be done and then I just focus on staying home and getting better for a couple of days. And then hopefully I can put this shitty month behind me and move on. Saying good bye to Boomer and having surgery within 10 days of each other is not how I foresaw my month going.