Revelations

I was doing dishes this afternoon and I was thinking about work. I realized that I didn't like how cynical I was becoming about my coworkers. I have tried really hard to not turn this job into another Borders, where everyone knows everyone else's business and the manager and supervisor meetings turn into big gossip fests. It is definitely so much easier to work with men than women though, and I work in an office with seven women. Plus, the other five that are upstairs in different departments. Starting Monday, I'm going to work really hard on being less pessimistic and gossipy about the publicist. Especially since she is leaving in the next couple of weeks.

Another thing I was thinking about as I was mopping the floor (such a fun Saturday!) is that most of life is out of our control. The only thing we can control are our own actions. We can't control other people and their behaviors, we can't control life situations such as having a brother be deployed, we can't change other people, all we can do is work hard to improve and change ourselves.

Something else I was also considering, as I was thinking about changing myself, is how closed off I am to most people, with the exception of my family. I rarely let people in, even my closest friends, because I have a really hard time trusting people, since it's hurt me in the past. So, starting today, I am going to try to be more open. It will probably be one of the hardest things I have ever done.