Had another weird dream about the ex last night. I had a dream he was getting divorced and had a new girlfriend. I really need these dreams to stop but at least they are less frequent. They are definitely getting weirder though...

On a totally different topic, this morning I realized just how independent I am. I don't have a man around so I rely on myself for everything. I have dealt with everything from failed brakes on my car while driving to successfully trapping and disposing of mice. I think part of what men both like and don't like about me is my independence. They like that I can totally handle myself but they also need to feel needed. It is very difficult for me to just stop being self sufficient and it intimidates men that I take care of myself. If I need air in my tires, I'm not going to call a man to do that. I am going to pull out the air compressor I keep in my trunk and do it myself, like I did the other day. When I was working for that cheap idiot at my last job, we had a mouse problem and instead of calling an exterminator we wound up taking care of it ourselves. One of the girls set the snap traps and I wound up disposing of the dead mouse bodies because none of the other women would. Seriously.

I have seen women who can't do anything for themselves and can't be alone. They have to have a man take care of them and always have to be in a relationship, even if it is with someone most people would consider to be a loser. I am very sad for these women because they rarely can think for themselves. They are the ones always using the term "We." "We do this" "We like that restaurant" "We have no individual thoughts" My sister and I have a pact that if the other one ever exhibits behavior like that, the other has the right to bitch slap sense into her.

I want my equal. I want a man who realizes I can take care of myself and isn't intimidated by that and respects my independence. And I want a man who isn't a total pussy and calls me all the time because he can't do anything on his own. Trust me, I have seen that and it isn't pretty. Case in point, my coworker's boyfriend who called her four, yes, FOUR, times on Thursday. Why? It is like he has to call to ask permission to eat or something.

And people wonder why I am still single. My friend asked me the other day if I even want a man and I said yes, I would like one but I don't need one to be happy. But like I told her I am picky. I refuse to lower my standards just to have a mediocre relationship.