Well, it's been two weeks and though it has not been easy, I have finally come to terms with everything. I can't just stop the way I feel but at least it's getting easier. I think the only difficult moments are what I call the emotional landmines--something you don't see coming that brings back a memory. Like when I am filling up my Netflix queue and they recommend that God awful "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" which became a joke between us (I hated that movie. That is two hours of my life I will never get back). I know eventually when something like that happens, I will be able smile at the memory, but right now, it burns like salt in a wound.

Last year, I was really trying to move on and put myself out there and meet men because I thought that is what I needed to do. He had moved on and was dating other women and I figured the best thing for me to do was to move on also. Which I couldn't because I never gave myself a chance to really recover. On the outside, I pretended like everything was fine but inside I was broken glass.

Even now, though the girls talked me into putting myself on one of those dating sites and I have gotten five emails from different men, I am ambivalent about the whole thing. Flattered that they like my pictures and profile, but still ambivalent. I can't get into a relationship and hand someone a heart that is duct taped together from being dropped too many times and expect him to fix it.

So, I am going to take some time for myself. This fall is going to be extremely busy anyway, what with traveling for work and many new books coming out. Plus, I really would like to get some vacation time in and take a trip with the girls to the seacoast.

Okay, it's late and I'm rambling. Definitely time for bed.